Forgiveness is not an “Option”

Text: Matthew 18 from v21

21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?"

22 Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

23 "Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24 As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents [340 metric tons of silver!] was brought to him. 25 Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.

"The servant fell on his knees before him. `Be patient with me,' he begged, `and I will pay back everything.' 27 The servant's master took pity on him, cancelled the debt and let him go.

28 "But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii [100 days’ wages for a labourer]. He grabbed him and began to choke him. `Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded.

29 "His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, `Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.'

30 "But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31 When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened.

32 "Then the master called the servant in. `You wicked servant,' he said, `I cancelled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?' 34 In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.

35 "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart."

To fully appreciate this parable, we need to enter into the drama of the situation.

Let’s put ourselves in the place of the first servant.  At the current silver price, your debt is roughly R3,5 billion!  You are brought before your master and your debt is confirmed:      R3 473 million.  You are asked how you intend repaying this debt.  You have no idea.  The master’s advisors confirm – it is an impossible debt for you to pay.

You cringe in the master’s presence as he ponders for a moment.  The silence is overwhelming.  Finally he speaks: you and all of your family will be sold at the slave market to whoever offers the best price.  The implications spin round in your mind… You wonder what kind of person will offer the highest price – not just for you, but for your spouse and children – and terror grips your heart…  You break out into the sweat of a major fever… your body shakes uncontrollably…In desperation, you fall at your master’s feet and beg for mercy.  Please!  Anything but be sold at the slave market!  You will work double-shifts.  You will do the toughest, most dangerous jobs.  You will call every relative and friend you know to help with the debt.  You pledge the rest of your life to serve him faithfully.

The master says nothing – another terrible silence… Eventually you dare to look up – and you see tears in his eyes!

“Your debt is cancelled.”  You are stunned.  Did you hear right?  You dare not believe your ears.

“Your debt is cancelled.”  You heard right.  You gaze at your master’s tear-filled eyes – you never knew this side of him.  What graciousness!  What kindness!  You try to thank him, but all you can do is sob uncontrollably as relief overwhelms you.  Eventually you manage to get up onto your feet and speak the words… “Thank you.  I will never forget this kindness.”

Exhausted, you go home and tell your family what has happened.  The massive debt that had accumulated…  The sentence that was pronounced… And then the incredible mercy!  You weep together as you realise that you have just been extended the most remarkable, almost unthinkable mercy.

Two blocks down, another man lies on his bed trying to sleep.  He too owes a massive debt.  More than three month’s wages now.  But he is a daily-paid labourer – he lives on the breadline.  At the end of each day, he receives his pay and goes straight to the store.  He has enough to buy a cup of mielie-meal for bread, two cups of rice and a cup of beans.  He carefully checks his change – at the end of the week he will buy bones for soup and hopefully pay back a little of his debt. 

He hears his youngest son breathing heavily… still sick after two trips to the doctor and four to the chemist.  He has done his best to repair the leaks in the roof that made the house damp and prone to mould – but the materials cost a fortune in his economy.  And each person would say the same thing to him: “Sorry, cash only.”  Tomorrow he will have to plead for another loan… and ask for another extension on his debt.  He silently thanks God for the mercy he has been shown by the colleague who has lent him money so many times.

Tired from a sleepless night, he goes to work the next day.  Lunch-time he’ll go and ask his colleague for yet another loan.  He has prayed for mercy… he knows this could be the last straw for the man who has already gone the extra mile and more for him.

Lunchtime he sees his colleague.  “I don’t know how to say this, but… I need to take my son to the doctor again.  Is there any way you can loan me another R200?”

“Another R200?  You MUST be joking!  When last did you pay me anything back?  You’re a bottomless pit!  No!!  In fact, its time to pay ME – I’ve had enough of your stories!”

“But… I can’t!  Every week I put money aside to pay you back, but then the medical bills come… my son is still sick!”

The colleague loses it.  He grabs him by the scruff of the neck.  “That’s it!  No more excuses!  I want my money back this week!  I don’t care what you do, but do it – this is the end of the ride!!  I’m handing you over to the courts.”

“But they’ll lock me up!  Then how will my family eat?  How will my son get treatment?”

“That’s YOUR problem now… I’m done with you.”

This parable is a masterful picture of forgiveness – what it costs to give and what it means to receive.  I hope my paraphrase helps us hear it afresh.

We have just celebrated Easter.  We have just remembered the price Jesus paid for our forgiveness.  Like the first servant in the parable, our debt was an impossible one to repay – like a multi-billion rand debt.  Sooner or later, we would have had to stand before God and pay the price for our sin – a terrifying thought!  But in the greatest act of mercy ever known, Jesus paid our debt – and offered us freedom!

I hope you took time this Easter to appreciate the incredible kindness of God to send Jesus to redeem us… to appreciate this incredible, greatest love of all and to take hold of it for yourself.  The cross tells us how precious we are to God; how passionately he loves us.

And we can say with Paul, “Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift!”  (2 Cor 9:15)

Now… on to the “real world”!  We have the incredible privilege of sitting in the presence of God and knowing this forgiveness!  But then the service ends… and we have to interact with one another… and then we have to interact with other drivers… and other shoppers… and tele-sales people… and call centres… and all manner of people who seem to have the gift of annoying and offending us!

Within hours of leaving church, many of us will experience the fallen nature of man… we will be mistreated, lied to, offended, hurt…

Someone will sin against us.

And as they sin against us, they will bear the weight of their sin – their debt to us and to God.

When they realise their sin and go to God, 1 John 1 tells us how God deals with them:

If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.  9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 10 If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives.

How wonderful it is to experience this ongoing forgiveness by God!  Not that he ignores it, not that we may ignore it, but that as we admit our sin to him, he forgives us and he purifies us!

Often, this is the easy part – because God is truly a Master of forgiveness!

But then comes the messy part – the human part!  We have to deal with the debts we owe to one another!

Who has enjoyed a wonderful time of worship, known the grace of God towards you, and then you drive out and someone brutally cuts you off.  Your blood pressure shoots up as anger rises within you… You hoot, you describe the person’s intelligence deficiency (and possibly their ancestry)…  They respond with an insulting hand-sign…

As you drive on, you see a person who you paid a big chunk of hard-earned money to do some work… they did a terrible job but took the money and no longer take your calls… and you note the luxury car they are driving.

You get home and you see the bill which is clearly incorrect and the subject of at least an hour of waiting for call centre operators who cannot help you…

You check your phone and there is a message that seems to have been painstakingly crafted to make you angry as possible…

And like the servant in the parable, you want to grab them, choke them… and make them PAY!

What does Jesus tell us to do?

He tells us to remember the mercy we have been shown – and to extend the same mercy towards those who have sinned against us.

You may say:

“But you don’t understand how BIG that person’s sin against me is!!!”

“The damage done is HUGE – how can I pretend its OK?”

Let me try to help…

The debt of the second servant was far less than that of the first, but it was still a significant debt – more that three months’ wages at the standard labourer rate.  Jesus is not saying these sins or debts are insignificant – in fact, he is acknowledging their significance – so he is not calling us to pretend they don’t matter and ignore them. 

But he IS comparing them to the MASSIVE debt that WE have owed HIM and that HE has forgiven.  And based on this incredible mercy extended to us, he commands us to do likewise to others.

Friends, we have been forgiven far, far more than we will ever be called to forgive.  When we feel that a sin committed against us is too great for us to forgive, Jesus says to us: “remember your sins that I have forgiven!”

And please hear this: Jesus is not making a suggestion here, but a command.  In the parable, Jesus tells of how the master punishes the unmerciful servant for his lack of mercy – after being forgiven so much himself.  And he gives this sobering warning:

35 "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart."

Friends, extending forgiveness is not an “option” for the Christian – we are commanded to forgive.

Jesus taught us to pray (in “The Lord’s Prayer”):

“Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” (Matthew 6:12)

Then he said:

“For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” (verses 14 & 15)

These are sobering words.  You may not like them.  But they are the words of Jesus!  We must hear them!  We must obey them!

We MUST forgive!! 

Forgiveness can be difficult.  Sometimes terrible sins are committed against us.  And our reflex is to shout out for justice, and justice alone. 

Jesus understands.  His parable shows that.  Our sins against one another are significant and serious.

But he does not offer us the luxury of indulging in unforgiveness.  He reminds us that our sins against him were far greater – he has extended massive forgiveness to us!  And he requires us to extend some of the grace that he has extended to us towards those who sin against us.  Friends, how dare we refuse?  Who do we think we are to behave like the unmerciful servant??

This message is not a “how to” – perhaps we can help one another with the practical challenges in our small groups.  This is a “DO” message – let’s hear Jesus’ command and commit to DO it!